Shit that happens to me

I decided awhile ago I would start a blog about curious things that happen to me in every day life. Stupid crap. Random events, stupid people I meet, and the conversations I have with them. Now not all the people are stupid, but sometimes the situations are.

In my post series "Shit that happens to me" I will be recounting actual events that have actually happened to me. All events are 100% true though due to not having perfect memory, some things may be paraphrased.

Without further ado, this is how I woke up this morning:

"YOU WA SHOOOOOCK!!! AI DE SORA GA- OCHITEKURUUUUUU~~" <--- Masaki Endoh's Fist of the North Star Opening theme is my ringtone.


I roll over and pick It up: "Mmnnh..Hello?"

Woman: "Hello. Is this Joe- Hooker?" She put emphasis on spacing the names.

Me: "No ma'am this is not him. You have the wrong number."

Woman: "Is this (insert number here)?"

Me: "No ma'am, I think you dialed a similar number. Mine is only off by one digit. You probably want 2343 and not 2348"

Woman: "Oh- I'm so sorry. Please take care."

Me: "Buh-bye..."

I roll back over and go back to having my awesome dream about...shit...I cant remember what it was....But it was awesome!

About 10 minutes go by...

"YOU WA SHOOOOCK!! AI DE SORA GA-"

Me: "Hello?"

Woman: "Hi. Is this Joe Hooker?"

Me: "No ma'am, it's me again."

Woman: "Oh my god I am so sorry."

Me: "No, no, its okay..."

Woman: "Are you sure this isnt (same number again)."

Me: "Well, I'm too tired to think right now so I'm not sure what my number is, but I am not Joe Hooker. I think you were given a wrong number. Even if you're dialing it right, you're still dialing me. And since I'm not Joe Hooker, you have a wrong number."

Woman: "Oh I'm so sorry. Well you see, I'm a florist and I am in Ohio, and I am trying to mail his sister flowers and she also lives in Ohio and I'm trying to reach Joe Hooker to ask about his order. Do you know him? He lives in New Jersey?"

It's about this time that i wanted to say "OH YEAH!! JOE HOOKER!! WELL WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME HE LIVES IN NEW JERSEY!? I KNOW LOTSA GUYS WHO LIVE IN NEW JERSEY!!"

This is funnier if you knew before hand that I actually live in New Jersey, but even if you didnt, this changes nothing about the fact that in her mind she figures a valid prerequisite of knowing who he is talking about is simply knowing his name and what STATE he lives in.

Me: "......Sorry. I dont know who he is."

Woman: "Okay. I'm so sorry"

Me: "It's fine. Please take care"

Woman: "Bye"

Me: "Buh-bye..."

I then rolled out of bed, cursed at my knee because my cut on it still hasnt healed, and began typing this blog.

Stayed tuned till next time when I share more stories of incompetence and tom-foolery. And the worst part is, they are all true....

If you have a stupid story you'd like to share, shoot me a message at any one of my contact addresses and I'll put it up if it's especially stupid.