Shit that happens to me 2

Well, I had a lovely morning again with Ms. Flower Delivery Lady.

Once again she called my cell and said "Hello? John Hooker?"

"Sorry ma'am...you have me again."

*click*

Thats the conversation verbatim. I wonder if I'll get any more calls from her. She seems nice and I kinda wanna help her find this John guy.



So since that entry is a bit short, let me add to it with some other lovely observations I've noticed while working a retail job. If you've ever worked any kind of job ever, or even just went to a store of any kind, you've seen these people and it's scary...

The Paranoid Checkout Conveyor Belt Shopper:

I dont know how many times I can say it, but the conveyor belt on the register line is AUTOMATIC. IT MOVES ON IT'S OWN.

I'll be ringing someone up, and I'm rather swiftly moving their items across the table scanner and into a plastic bag, and if they are in single file, the conveyor belt will move on it's own. Theres a small sensor at the VERY end that detects when it is being blocked. If anything passes in front of it, the belt stops. Once the item is taken away, it automatically moves the belt again, bringing the cashier the next item.

So with this in mind, can someone tell me why THIS always happens:

*boop*

*table moves a bit, person behind current customer slides their products back*

*boop*

*same as above*

*boop*

*same as above but with annoyed grunt from next customer*

*boop*

"COULD YOU PLEASE STOP THIS THING?! I AM TRYING TO GO THROUGH MY BAG AND IT KEEPS MOVING!!"

Well excuse the fuck out of me, lady. First off, as I said, the belt is automatic. Second, why should I turn the belt off just for you, so you can look through your bag or purse or whatever on that SPECIFIC spot in the line? Are you paying yet? No. The person AHEAD of you is. And then, this even happens when they ARE the person paying. Only then it makes even LESS sense because by the time they step up to the front of the line, THERES A SMALL DESK THEY CAN PUT THEIR BAGS ON. THATS WHAT IT IS THERE FOR.

GOD. I am NOT out to get you. I am not stepping on a little foot pedal to make the conveyor belt move at the worst time for you. Maybe if you'd just let your bag get to the END of the belt and let the belt stop ITSELF, you wouldn't be wrestling with it!

Even better is when someone sees me ringing up products and they put down the black bar thingy to separate their order from the one I am currently working on. Fair enough. But then as I ring things up, THEY GRAB IT AND MOVE IT BACK TO SEPARATE IT ANYAYS. Well genius, if you're going to do that anyways, why bother trying to shimmy that fucking bar in there? You were just going to push all your groceries to the beginning of the belt anyways where it will travel down the line AND THEN YOU'LL DO IT OVER AGAIN.

Seriously. That black bar is there to let the cashier know anything beyond it is a new order. We are not so inept and stupid that we cant figure that out. And if you were going to move the whole thing back anyways, bar and all, why bother with the bar?

The Paranoid "THAT'S NOT MINE" Shopper

Only thing I hate worse than people going  "No...no...no...no NO NO NONONONONONO" when they see their bag or groceries very sloooowly move to the front of the register belt is when you accidentally ring up someone else's product.

So I'm boopin' along, scanning cans and taking names, when another can of similar size and label color comes along and I accidentally scan it, or maybe it's a dog toy after scanning a long line of dog food. Whatever the case its. I scan it, and the person I'm ringing punches me in the face and screeches at me "THATS NOT MINE HOLY SHIT."

Okay, maybe they dont punch me in the face, but I've had so many people have minor heart attacks when I scan an item that isn't theirs than I care to count. They make it seem as though there is no possible way for me to just go back and DELETE the item. it's seriously just two buttons away!

"Delete"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"The Universe has returned to balance..."

Calm down people. Seriously. Most stores will gladly refund you for whatever extra item you are charged, especially if they see the receipt was printed THAT DAY, or hell, if you just review your receipts before walking away, you can have it changed right then and there!

Even weirder is when the person BEHIND them flips out. "THATS MINE!!" Okay!! Geez! Dont bite my head off! What's it to you anyways? If the person ahead of you pays for it, you wont be charged extra for an item you DIDN'T want, and it's not like the store will never have this particular item that was WRONGFULLY stolen from you and given to someone else ever again...

And this is just some of the shenanigans at the register. It gets MUCH worse at other parts of the store. People are insane creatures who lack a sense of....common sense!! It's only groceries people. We have bionic body parts, space stations, phones with internet, and computers that can beat Russians at chess. I THINK it's possible for this "lowly" cashier to delete that item he accidentally scanned, and I'm sure he hopes you can figure out how the fucking conveyor belt works before you smash open someone's head the next time it moves your bag a few inches.